So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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