If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
