The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
