Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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