your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
