Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
