Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
