6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
