He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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