you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
