I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
