Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
