If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
