Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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