Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
