Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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