# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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