i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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