i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
