we're blogging at a bar
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
