My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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