hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
