watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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