And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
