in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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