Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
