I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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