Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
