Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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