He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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