The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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