This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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