girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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