i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
