i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
