There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
