He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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