just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
That was before I lit my hair on fire
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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