she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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