hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
