trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
