already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
