Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
