This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
