Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
