Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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