You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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