We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's always time for handjobs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
