i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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