Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
